be real, not impressive

I have looked at my blog a lot and realized how little I have been posting. I haven't been thinking less, but I have been too afraid to write things unless they were groundbreaking.

My attempt to share more and to be practicing the craft of writing "without pressure" was the idea behind 100DaysOfThoughts. Yet, even in that daily thought I felt the pressure to be impressive. To prove to others, maybe myself that I am smart, creative, innovative. Not really sure. I separated them from my "blog" to create two streams almost to say "the blog has some thoughts that are potentially well crafted, this is just crap and practice (but look how brilliant it still is)". Last night I was struck with the fact that many of my desires and goals are infected with this desire to be impressive. I genuinely want to take photos, write, create, build businesses because I believe am and made to create. It is this feeling that it needs to be perfect or profound that is toxic.

I read a lot of books and watch a lot of interviews where you hear over and over again "just ship it, it will never be perfect". The power of iteration is amazing and this is something I need to be practicing. So this is a promise to try and write more. Not for anyone reading this (unless it's you Jared of the future) but to practice. To try and craft some thoughts. You might be asking "Why does it have to be a blog, get a journal you pretentious poop?" this is something that I have been back and forth on. There is something about the accountability of a blog that is good. Although it is a contradiction there is something about the feeling of wanting to be impressive that is good. It's not to show people that you're the best, but to say "I am going to put this out there to fail and succeed publicly", because we all need encouragement and criticism. I believe that the nature of these blogs will change dramatically. They will consist of more heart cries and musings, then "theories and lessons". I know some incredibly talented people and I want to share more of their work, because it inspires me and maybe it will inspire you. That's the heart behind Kairos.

So if somehow you found this blog it is likely because you are close to me. If you found this and you aren't close to me, shoot me a message I would love to meet you. Whoever you are please try and keep me accountable to create, I miss it. I will never be annoyed with you telling me to share with you what I am working on. This is my promise to try everyday to be real, not impressive